Today was one of those mornings when you try to decide what can temp you out of bed. Because otherwise, it’s intense and guiltless hibernation tll someone else makes coffee. But you can’t decide. The cat is stomping all over you and kneading your stomach into bread dough. You stretch one arm from under the down comforter and feel around for your phone. Only the fingers on the other hand come out. You send a text message to your best friend who doubles as your brain when yours is not home.
“I want to do something nice for myself today. Cook or go shopping?”
Less than 10 seconds.
“Go shopping of course.”
She’s recently completed her quest for size 0… You were secretly hoping she’d say “cook” because few things make you so happy so quickly as food. But now you have to obey and skip the pumpkin pie that was already baking in the back of your mind.
You hop into your fat jeans and a skinny t-shirt – you’re going shopping for sweaters and jackets. You hum as you drive… to the Anthropologie store. And you try to shop. You make a sincere effort to try every frilly jacket that doesn’t sting you with its fabric and price, but almost an hour later you are not any more artistique-looking than when you rolled out bed that morning. You are in shopping heaven going through hell.
And then you see it. It’s red – of course. And shiny. Looking smart and inviting at the same time. You float over to it, transported by the currents of hope. And only then you realize that it’s… a cookie jar.
Moral: you can’t fight destiny.