Alesja Petrovna, a Russian TV producer who also happens to be my virtual friend, has posted this true story in her blog. I couldn’t resist – it had to be translated.
— We are walking down the street and I’m told, “We need to stop by the store to pick up some milk for Zakhar.”
“Who is Zakhar?”
“Well… You’ll see for yourself.”
We get home and there is no Zakhar. “Where is he?” “Well, he’s here…”
I look under the dining table and see a white napkin with a cup of milk and a saucer with cookies. They tell me, “He likes cookies with his milk.”
So I start thinking. Is it a cat? Then why cookies? A rabbit? A parrot? When why is everything on the floor? A walking parrot?
They tell me, “Well… It’s Zakhar. A house elf. He likes fresh milk in the morning and in the evening, and cookies.”
I’m itching to say, “Are you for real?” but it seems like they are. When they moved into this condo, he got upset and kept running around and stomping. They poured him some milk and he settled down.
I say, “So what happens when you go on vacation? Who feeds him?” It’s not exactly a cat – you can’t get your neighbors to pet-sit it. They tell me they poured him a ton of cookies and he somehow pulled through… And if you are moving, you got to leave an empty box overnight and invite him in. Then in the morning close the lid and open it in the new house. He apparently fits right in with all his belongings…
Then I notice a bag of cookies and crackers in the corner. I ask, “So is that supplies for Zakhar?”
And what they tell me turns my world upside down. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry or how to express appropriate emotions because I can’t even begin to grasp what they might be.
Because they say, “No, that’s what Zakhar has already eaten.”